Tools For the Elderly To Keep Clean

For 4 years, I’ve been my mom's caregiver. She has old age dementia, a condition that takes many forms. However, unlike Alzheimer’s patients, she recognizes faces and remains mentally sharp in some areas. Lucky me, my mother can still walk using a walker indoors, and I can bring her to my apartment, so I can attend to my own affairs.

Yet, I notice she has declined mentally and physically with each year. When we began, she walked unassisted on her walker, but now I take her to the bathroom and tend to walk beside her if she rises from her chair because if she loses her balance, she cannot catch herself and sometimes falls. Four years ago, she got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom alone, which is now too dangerous. She can drink hot coffee from a mug, but has more spills. She can feed herself, yet is messier and won’t always finish her meals without help.

This brings me to today’s blog. I find myself ordering more and more tools to make our lives run more smoothly. I’ll list a few items that help us stay tidy:

1) Qancesed Adult Sippy Cup (↑top of blog image) - A 12 oz size for cold drinks. If dropped, nothing spills through the straw. The lid will come off if thrown across the room, but not if the cup falls off a chair onto the floor. Yes, she tossed her cup across the room once, but after a lecture about taking care of her special cup, she hasn’t since.

2) Aloufea 12 oz Stainless Steel Insulated Coffee Mug With Handle and Lid - For hot drinks, its lightweight and sturdy, and she likes handles. She can’t consistently remember to line her lips up with the lid hole (I don’t see that one coming!), which lets a bit of the coffee run out over the top and down onto her clothing, so we don’t use the lid.

3) Helishy Gel Cushion for Long Sitting - I selected an extra-thick cushion to support her back in her living room chair or in the seat of her transport wheelchair. Placing the cushion behind her back in her chair helps her not to slouch but to have good posture for a stronger back. Nothing good comes from slouching except a bad back and accidents.

Next, let’s discuss my mom's staying in bed during the night instead of getting up to go to the bathroom. Her legs are strong, but her balance is unsteady, and I can’t stay awake all night to walk her to the bathroom. So I put a safety rail + barrier on the side of the bed she’s accustomed to rising from, so she doesn’t get up groggy to fall and hurt herself. And over my 4 years of caregiving, I’ve added 4 incontinence products to our repertoire: washable bed pads, adult pull-ups, adult nylon plastic pants, and booster pads. The booster pads, I didn’t know existed one year ago. The nylon plastic-coated pants look just like pajama bottoms. They make no noise, and paired with a t-shirt, she looks cute!

The idea is to keep my mom safe, clean, healthy, and as independent as possible, which also makes my job easier!

Usually, I’ll help my mom eat her dinner, but I've come up with 2 breakfast bowls she can eat by herself --

These bowls are from Healthy Choice frozen meals. We stopped buying the meals, but I saved the bowls since they microwave food without sticking.

1) An omelette, diced: 2 scrambled eggs, 2 - 4 slices of smoked ham or smoked turkey, cheese, and a slice of whole grain bread (whole wheat or rye). Usually, I add a little bit of milk to soak the bread to make it easier to chew. A dash of garlic, nutmeg and pepper.

2) Oatmeal - 1/4 cup oatmeal flakes, milk, a handful of walnuts, chopped fruit (alternate: apple, banana, strawberries, blueberries, a peach, a pear, pineapple, etc.), a tablespoon of peanut butter, sometimes a sprinkle of brown sugar or a drizzle of honey. A dash of nutmeg and cinnamon. My mother taught me that spices had health benefits. Sometimes I toss in a handful of Chex cereal for a crunchy texture.

She has one or the other nearly every morning, and I can make the beds, take a shower, and get dressed while she eats her breakfast.

I got her an adult bib, but she doesn’t like it, so we simply use a tea towel.

Caregiving for an elderly parent is very similar to caring for young children. You can’t lift an adult like a toddler, yet you can leave them alone to grocery shop and run errands. Caring for the very young or very old each has its unique challenges and ease, and stepping up for family is sometimes by trial and error. We learn as we go along and do the best we can with what we know at the time. Friends say my mom is looking good, and I know she’s happier living with me than in a nursing home. But what if my mother didn’t have a daughter? After 75+ years of paying taxes, our country should provide meaningful benefits for the elderly. Meals and visiting nurse practitioners could keep many seniors in their own homes. One day that elderly person will be you, so vote wisely!

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Photo: Canadian Digestive Health Foundation

My Mom relies on me to make her food choices, but honestly, I liked it better when she had an appetite and all her faculties, and if she didn't eat, or eat healthily, it was her choice as an adult and not my problem. I should add that younger, she prepared and ate healthy meals. Now it's my job to plan and cook for her.

I support eating a healthy diet, and I also pity her because it's sad to grow old and lose your independence and appetite. She must follow my rules, and I can be an enforcer if necessary.:)

The following are my caregiver rules:

1) She must eat at least 2 meals a day! In her adult life, she never ate lunch, so I have to work with her lifelong habit and pack her nutritional requirements into 2 meals a day. But after I've done so ...

2) She must eat her dinner. Breakfast is never a problem. Too often she claims she's not hungry for dinner, but I tell her she must eat one. She's lucky to have someone in her life who is mean. Me! It is something a nursing home aide cannot do ... tell a senior she must eat food. In a nursing home, the meals roll in and out, eaten or not, often by separate aides.

3) She must eat the amount of protein her body requires daily and a variety of fruit, vegetables, and whole grains, as much as I can get her to eat with her reduced desire for food. I use skim milk and 4 ounces of fruit juice (no sugar added) to help meet her dietary needs. According to the National Library of Medicine, older adults may benefit from consuming 1.2 to 2.0 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight (or 0.54 to 0.9 grams per pound). This is in line with what other medical sources recommend. Three glasses of skim milk a day help get the job done! Eggs, too, are an easy-to-eat light meal.

3) No overloading on sugar. Everybody should eat a healthy diet, young, old, or in-between. Sugar is a treat, not a staple. In fact, sugar is bad for all of us and addictive. Many of us like sweets, but if a senior has arthritis, sugar causes inflammation, resulting in more painful joints. We cut down on sugar, eating it in moderation only: A row of dark chocolate, 2 cookies here and there, birthday cake, Christmas cookies, one portion of Halloween or Easter candy. So we don't feel deprived. I'm also a believer in the less sugar you consume, the less you crave it. Finally, it's as easy to like healthy food as unhealthy food. Cherries, strawberries, blueberries, peaches, and apples are all delicious snacks! Ditto for vegetables and a healthy dip such as spicy humus!!

A fortune in eggs.😳

It's payback time for both my mom and me. Once upon a time, she was the enforcer ensuring I didn't overload on sugar and ate a balanced diet, and now our roles are reversed. The egg has become the head chicken and enforcer. Be careful of the values you instill in your children. Chickens come home to roost!🐣😁

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Senior Goods That Make Caregiving Easier

As they say in financial journalism today's subject isn't sexy. Still, I want to share a tad of wisdom I've picked up in caring for my senior mamma. It seems to me that 80% of the population are or have been caregivers for elderly family members. I meet them when I'm at the supermarket, hiring vendors, or sometimes sitting in the park, i.e., everywhere I go! I've learned a lot in the nearly 2 years I've stepped into the role. Perhaps in another blog, I'll address a more weighty part of caregiving, thoughts about our county's healthcare system. My mother is lucky, she has excellent coverage, but so many seniors don't! Meanwhile, it's the daily care we must provide so today I'll limit our discussion to --

5 Must-Have Essentials for Seniors to Make Everyday Life Easier for Your Loved One and Yourself (not listed in order of importance):

1) Ensure (as well as Walmart's brand, Equate) Protein Drinks - Although my mother's best meal is breakfast, getting her to eat lunch or dinner is dicey! Every morning she'll have 2 eggs; peanut butter on toasted multigrain bread with a drizzle of honey; a cup of milk; and coffee, which she eats in the late mornings. It's the only real food I can count on her eating. So around 1:30 PM, I give her a vanilla Ensure or Equate protein drink. They are 11 ounces with 30 grams of protein and 1 gram of sugar. Usually, she refuses dinner, instead opting only to drink a cup of milk, but with a good dose of protein early in the day, I don't fret too much. Hey, I can only make food available, the rest is on her! Btw, vanilla is her favorite flavor, so it's what I order.

2) Aloe Vesta Body Wash & Shampoo or its equivalent - 8 ounces (I'd prefer 16 ounces). I squirt a dab of it into her bathwater or a basin for handwashing. It cleans and conditions her skin and scalp without drying the skin. We do raise the wash off with water, but you don't have to, if the patient is bedridden. Many hospitals use it. 

3) Assurance Adult Disposable Panties from Walmart - I realize I'm oversharing, but not only is Walmart's house brand the cheapest in price, but it's also my favorite brand of all the disposables on the market. They are strong and fit like cloth panties, not diapers. The maximum and overnight absorbencies are not bulky and fitted in the leg area. They look comfortable and are invisible under trousers, and except for the material they're made of, not like wearing disposables but real panties.

4) Target's brand, Up & Up Fresh and Clean Cloth-Like Baby Wipes - I buy the 3-pack of 100 count for $5.98. Cheap in the Target store! They come in bigger quantities, but if you are not timely in using them, they'll dry up. So how many are too many in a single purchase? I haven't figured it out yet. I love the botanicals in them, but I'd buy the best-priced wipes with safe ingredients I could find.

5) Washable Waterproof Protective Pads for Beds (or Couches) - Hospitals use these thinner polyester absorbent ones, so that's what I buy. Machine wash and dry. They look good blended into the bedding, not senior or nursing home-ist at all. They are just as absorbent as the 3-layer pads but are lighter and cheaper so I think the better choice.

Senior personal care items can be pricey, but these 5 are affordable and very useful. They're worth every penny! One piece of advice ... you can find many identical senior commodities sold in medical supply pharmacies selling for 1/3 less on Amazon. Always compare with Amazon before pulling the trigger.

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Photo: clean.png

Oh my goodness, I've never dealt with such a fastidious, hard-to-please eater as my senior mother. In old age, it's her mind and not her inability to chew. Her doctors tell me this is common in patients like her as they lose the ability to taste food. I lower my expectations of her eating a varied diet and simply focus on pumping enough milk and Greek yogurt into her to make up for the meat and protein sources she'll no longer eat. Vegetables have gone by the wayside also. Sometimes she'll eat chicken nuggets or one bite of beef, but it's not enough protein in a steady diet.

Here's what I buy to counter her self-imposed limited diet:

1) low-fat milk - I drink skim, but bumped her up to 1%. She doesn't need to watch her weight.

2) vanilla Greek yogurt

3) multi-grain bread

4) crunchy peanut butter - Toast, pb, and a drizzle of honey every morning is her only daily meal of real food.

5) honey

6) 30-gram protein powder - that I add to milk if she refuses lunch. Sometimes I toss in fruit, or spinach, or walnuts. Sometimes I lose the battle and she refuses to drink it.

7) 20-gram protein bars - She is getting tired of these, so I cut them into 3 smaller pieces and give her one piece. It's better than nothing.

8) cheddar cheese - She'll only eat one bite of cheese but sometimes will eat a grilled cheese sandwich.

9) fruit - apples, oranges, pears, bananas, and berries

10) eggs - She'll only consume one egg for dinner about twice a week. I scramble 2 eggs and scrunch them up on a plate to look like one egg. She is suspicious but eats them.

11) coffee - My mother says coffee is number one. Lord save the caregiver if she is denied her morning coffee! She drinks coffee and about one cup of milk with her breakfast. Great!

12) ice cream and dark chocolate - as treats and for calories.  She only wants a serving. I toss dark chocolate chips on her ice cream for its anti-oxidants. I hear dark chocolate is good for the brain.

I am closer to having an understanding of what it must be like to care for an anorexic child. It's a daily struggle to keep them healthy. I dislike having to put so much thought into the daily necessity of eating. I, myself, have always been a healthy eater and never a problem eater. 

As long as mom looks healthy and is of normal weight I shake off over worrying and just do the best I can by making food available. I always offer her a bite of my meals but don't push her if she refuses a taste. However I'm strict on 2 points -- I do nudge her to have a small taste, and once in her mouth, I tell her she can't spit out such a small morsel of food, as it's not poison, but to please swallow it. I'm nipping a bad habit before it begins!

I'm sure the best nursing homes can't cater to seniors the way families inevitably do at home because it's time-consuming so when seniors become bad eaters they just go downhill.

Life's challenges! If you feed an undereater and have ideas that work feel free to share them.

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