Anonymity Is Priceless

I didn’t watch the John Kennedy and Carolyn Bessette docudrama. Certainly, I was aware of them in the 1990s and walked past their penthouse loft at 20 North Moore Street downtown in Tribeca a few times. When the Southern District of New York summoned me to serve as a grand juror on Centre Street, John was one of many assistant JAs who came into the courtroom to present evidence to us to secure an indictment. During the time of my jury duty, John stood directly in front of me, riding the elevator down to go out to lunch. BTW, I met or saw many celebrities in Manhattan, but I never met or saw John’s mother, sister, wife, or ex-girlfriend, Daryl Hannah, out and about.

This television series on John and Carolyn is making me think about anonymity. To be clear, anonymity is a state in which a person’s identity is unknown. I have heard the stories of the stress Carolyn felt when she lost her anonymity by marrying John Kennedy, Jr., and I can empathise with how trying and traumatizing it must have been for her.

To a degree, I can imagine the discomfort of being watched, judged, and critiqued everywhere she went, often in print. What a terrible state of feeling like you must be dressed impeccably, with every hair in place, even to dash out nearby in the mornings to grab a bagel or drop a letter in a mailbox. Sometimes I’ve thrown on a long coat before taking a shower or putting on makeup to pick up breakfast or deposit mail! But then to have strangers evaluate me or paparazzi jump out to take my picture would be horrifying! It’s been said that Carolyn began to crack under the strain and to feel like a caged animal. Quite understandable.

We should all be careful of what we wish for, as fame can seem ideal, like a best-case scenario. Singer Little Richard once said, “Elvis Presley got what he wanted, but lost what he had.”

Anonymity is priceless in New York City. One of my great pleasures is freely walking about, people watching, or going on window-shopping sprees. On an easy-breezy weekend of afternoon exploring often around the Upper East Side, Upper West Side, or in Midtown, sometimes people will smile at me when our eyes meet. At times, I might exchange little snippets of pleasant conversation or even a laugh with fellow New Yorkers who, just like me, are out and about, but we still maintain our anonymity. I also take for granted that such exchanges are genuine since I'm an unknown. I can be open and accessible, giving people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t have ulterior motives for interacting with me unless they prove me wrong, which, despite what outsiders think, usually doesn’t happen in Manhattan. New Yorkers are more benevolent and friendlier than many people imagine.

In absorbing the city and basking in its energy, anonymity is priceless as you walk the streets, enter shops, or stop to observe street entertainment. Some street entertainment is unintentional.😉 In New York City, you can be alone sans the isolation. You’re one of the crowd, with nobody bothering you or asking anything of you. Without a doubt, the freedom to be an observer has increased my wisdom. I’m smarter for having the space to process what I see. Being unencumbered enough to get lost in our thoughts in public is a gift!

How painful and restrictive it must have been for Carolyn Bessette, who was raised as an ordinary girl and married at age 30, to have lost her anonymity and with it the freedoms she enjoyed throughout her 20s.  At times, the best things in life are free, so be grateful if you still have your anonymity!

*By chance, John’s Aunt Jean Kennedy Smith sat a couple of pews in front of me during a Christmas midnight Mass at St. Ignatius Church on Park Avenue and East 84th Street with her adult children, including her son, William Kennedy Smith, the year he went on trial for rape. At the time, the press speculated whether or not Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis would let her beloved son, John, attend his cousin’s trial in support. A source claimed his family pressured him to attend. John made two appearances during the jury selection. The trial ended with an acquittal.

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