Happy Father's Day ... Hmm

Photo by Visualizeus

It's become my habit to share a few random thoughts about my Father on Father's Day. When he died, I suddenly became aware that you do not love someone who was dear in the past tense. Clearly, you move on. In time, the loss is not the first thing you think about each morning, but it's not really accurate to say, "I loved my Father." It's more correct to say, "I love my Dad," although he is not alive to give, or receive it anymore. But your affections never really shut down.

Have you noticed? Everything in our world has an opposite. Light has dark. Good has evil. Happiness has sadness. Life has death. If you live long enough you experience it all. That's how the world works. And ... so much of the world is temporary. So appreciate what you have.

Jim Jordan Photography

Not only was I fond of my Dad, our family dog adored him. It is my observation that while dogs love everybody, they often form special bonds with men. "Man's best friend." I don't know why. Is it the testosterone ... or the style of play ... or what it is? As much as I hate to admit it, dogs do seem to prefer men.

My Dad could pick our dog up, for example, if he were injured, when no one else in the family could. You know, when I think about that dog ... I miss him too!

So let me share a funny story about my Father and the family dog.

One day my Dad decided our dog should have a comfortable bed of his own. So he bought a handsome wicker dog bed. Dad wanted to make the bed as cozy as possible. An uncle (Mom's brother) gave us a thick deer skin hide, which for years hung on a hook in a shed because we never knew what to do with it. So Dad thought that perhaps the deer skin -- one side had fur, and the other was leather -- would make the perfect padding for the dog to rest on.

Dad spend half an hour measuring and cutting it just right to cover the bottom of the dog bed. It made the bed soft, snug and homey. We showed our dog his lovely new wicker bed and left him alone to lay in it.

Several hours later, we noticed our dog had chewed the entire back off his new bed ... as a matter of fact, there wasn't much left of it, just bits and pieces of wicker strewn all over the floor! But that's not all ... the dog was having a field day playing with his perfectly-cut oval padding, by gripping it in his teeth, then shaking-and-flinging it across the room whenever he felt like it. So much for a welcoming bed of his own. Sometimes a dog has other ideas. Dad took this lack of appreciation in stride as I recall.


Some final thoughts about fatherhood come from President Barack Obama, whom I admire for being a fabulous father. 

Here's a snippet of what the President said in a recent interview:

"The one thing the girls know about me is I love 'em to death ... Younger parents ... ask me why it is that Malia and Sasha turned out so well. I say, first of all, you know -- marry somebody who's going to be a great mom,' which I did. But second of all, unconditional love sure makes a difference."

Plainly, unconditional love was true of my Father ... for his daughter and the beast.😊

Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful, well-intented FATHERS who read the blog. We love you for everything you do! And ... I will always love you, Daddy ... where ever you are.♥

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A Father's Day Memory

When I was a child both of my parents worked, so once when my Dad went on a short trip out of town, he took me along, but Mom stayed home.  We left the family car with her, packed a single suitcase and took a Greyhound bus across the state to a small town. I was 4 years old at the time, but remember bits and pieces of the trip vividly.  It was before people were in the habit of carrying personal bottles of water, and on the bus ride, I remember telling Dad I was thirsty. He told me to chew a stick of Doublemint gum until we got to a rest stop, and indeed, it helped.

After we arrived at our destination, we spent the afternoon hanging out downtown before later being picked up to spend the rest of our trip with my grandfather.  Man, that was a fun afternoon!  Just Dad and me, bumming around a rustic, sloping, sleepy, concrete town.  We hung out at a soda joint, eating burgers and fries.  We played pinball, which turned out to be one of Dad's hidden talents.  He racked up lots of points in several games, as well as, taught me how to shoot the metal balls to hit the various targets, setting off bells and whistles and lights.  We spent time in a magazine-smoke shop and a record store, plus encountered a charming, elderly lady on the street who recognized Dad and seemed happy to see him.  She referred to Dad as my grandfather's “baby boy,” and I was surprised and delighted to hear it.  We finished off our afternoon, back at the soda shop, sharing a banana split before our ride picked us up.

A few years later, we became a two car family, but nothing tops the trip where we had to board a Greyhound bus, kill time and wait for our ride.  Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere!

A song from the popular album.

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Photo by Natalie Kimball

My Father … perhaps like yours … had many attributes. He was smart, funny, creative, patient, a gentleman; the list goes on and on. But the quality I remember most was his reliability. He was there for you. You could count on him ... and his good judgment. Even during spats as a teenager, I was secure in the knowledge that he was totally on my side.

I was lucky to have a caretaker dad. The summer I turned seven my two front teeth were missing. All summer my Dad cut watermelon into cubes so I could eat it. When I was 25, my Dad came to visit me in New York. Before leaving to return home he told me that of all the things he accomplished in his life, being a dad was the role he enjoyed the most.* And perhaps that's why he was so good at it and explains why I always knew he approved of me and would go to any lengths for me. Whatever the circumstances, good, bad or ugly, he was there for you.

My Father died a few years ago, so I'll spend this Father's Day Sunday remembering him and all the years we had together. And I'll feel lucky to have had him as my Dad.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers. May you receive the gift of having your children nearby and knowing how much they love and cherish you.

Ideas for Father's Day:

1. Spend the day with Dad. Engage in activities he likes. [a meal, theater, music, a movie, sports]

2. Call him and have a leisurely conversation. Be open and accepting. Take your cues from him and listen twice as much as you talk.

3. Make or buy him his favorite music. [records, CDs, or program an ipod]

4. Give him a favorite book.

5. Order him a magazine subscription he'll enjoy.

6. Put together a basket of favorite treats.

7. Fill a need, or bring him something that will make his life easier.

8. Spring for season tickets [for two] to an activity of his choice. Go with him if possible. [If you can afford it, make it for 3 or 4 and include your mother and/or spouse.]

*At the time of Dad's remark we were out sampling New York pizza, and I wondered what made him say such a thing. I was surprised, but pleasantly surprised.

Great Gifts For Mom And Everyone Else

For natural beauty products I count on two stores, their names so similar that folks looking for one might make the mistake of walking into the other. The Body Shop and Bath & Body Works are two separate stores with much in common. Both offer skin, body and hair care items made from pure, ultra indulgent ingredients. Both sell pretty gift sets – ideal for birthdays, special occasions and days when you just need to pamper yourself. And both give terrific discounts on spa and glamour products that are already reasonably priced – usually just when you need gifts for special occasions like Mother's Day.

Recently I received a thoughtful gift – The Body Shop's "Love Your Body" card. It comes with exclusive member-only benefits. On Thursday, the card's 10% discount increased to a whopping 25% [for one day only], so I ran in to stock up on my favorite product in the store, their Mononi Miracle Oil. It's a great after-bath moisturizer and ends-of-hair treatment. I was given my membership card along with a gift certificate – the perfect combination to make someone feel like a VIP. The Body Shop also has top-notch makeup. Rich in pigments, colors last all day.

At Bath & Body Works the inventory is enormous! Whether you buy fragrances, skincare, or accessories, you'll get excellent quality and value. There are literally 1001 gifts to choose from - including their signature body sprays, lotions and shower gels, soft micro-terry loungewear, self-heating gloves, and booties, plus blends of aromatherapy oils, shea butter, and candles. Brand new this year is a lovely "garden in a pail.'' You can select a mix of snapdragon, petunia, and marigold, or bring home indoor sunflowers, or choose parsley, basil, and chives. You simply can't go wrong with either store to find the perfect gift. And while you look, be sure to pick up a tiny indulgence for yourself.