Social Rules That Make Good Sense

Photo: Intellectual Voice, as a page on Facebook posted on May 14, 2024

A Facebook friend of mine is a discriminating uploader. His posts are thoughtful and wise:

Source: Intellectual Voice

"SOME SOCIAL RULES THAT MAY HELP YOU:

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to.

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person who loaned it to you remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you to lunch or dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh, so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids?’ Or ‘Why haven't you bought a house?’ Or ‘Why haven't you bought a car?’ For God’s sake, it isn’t your problem.

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time.

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember, what may seem like 6 to you might appear as 9 to someone else. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative.

8. Never interrupt people while they are talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all.

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and shows how appreciative you are.

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor's appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say "I hope you’re okay." Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they'll do so without your inquisitiveness.

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed by how rudely you treat someone below you, but people will notice if you treat them with respect.

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.

17. Never give advice until you’re asked.

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it,
don’t ask them their age or salary.

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly - just stay out of it.

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreover, eye contact is as important as your speech.

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don't talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

22. After reading a good message, consider saying "Thanks for the message."

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don't have."

Enjoy the weekend Everyone!🌞

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Part II: 5 Gown Styles I Like And Would Wear

On Monday I wrote a blog describing 5 gown styles I dislike and won't wear even if a top designer were to loan them to me for free. Instead, I'd buy a gown off the rack. Well, perhaps it begs the follow-up question what gown styles do I like? Therefore, allow me to post 5 Gown Styles That Are My Cup of Tea. Here we go ...

As you can see, I prefer balanced, classic, or even modern styles of gowns. I'm also fine with a fun element on the gown as long as the gown remains tasteful and above all flattering and pretty. At a fancy function, I also like to enjoy the evening instead of having to manage a problem dress caused by too much dress (a train, etc), or a feature that is determined to pop open or work itself lopsided out of place.

I mean, getting to attend a gala and dressing up is a special occasion ... usually commemorating or celebrating something that doesn't occur every day. I'd never waste a chance to make the extra effort to look my best and then my desire is to forget about my attire and enjoy the evening out!

I have a ball gown that resembles this black one.

A mid-ankle length makes sashaying around the banquet room less cumbersome, and black gowns are a favorite for their slenderizing effect. A black gown for a black-tie event might also let you get away with wearing the dress (with bling) multiple times to mingle, glitter, and shine the night away in the future! I think people tend to remember bold (red, lime green, orange, or bird feathers) before neutrals. Chances are with black, they'll simply remember how dressy and polished you look at the formal affair without remembering you wore it last year. What's more, I favor a mid-ankle to a full-length gown for ease. I don't have handlers to help me futz with yards of fabric. In NYC, it's not uncommon after attending a gala to walk to a fancy bar/grill for an after-party.

What styles do you like? Which order (#1 then #2) is more important to you?: Would you rather stand out or look pretty?

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Part I: 5 Gown Styles I Dislike And Won't Wear

May is a time when retailers feature ball gowns as people attend proms, weddings, award shows, and charity events. Different strokes for different folks apply. Often style boils down to personal tastes and arbitrariness.

So let's have some fun! I'll share 5 styles of gowns that are not my cup of tea. If a leading designer sent me a couture dress to wear to a high-profile gala in one of the following styles, I'd turn it down and buy something off the rack. That's how much I dislike them. So here we go!

5 Gown Styles I Dislike and Won't Wear include:

      

1) The Asymmetrical Gown (including the top image) - I dislike gowns that are off-center or have a noticeable piece of fabric missing from the hemline. Is it a cape or a dress? I prefer balanced hemlines all the way around, and I dislike sporting a formal dress covering one leg in a different proportion than the other leg. Like with minor children, I like to treat my limbs with the same status. I also dislike the asymmetrical light green gown below👇 showing both legs. What's that skirt-like flap in the middle of the front? Toga girl. Was there not enough material to go around?😁

2) A One-Sided Strap Gown - On me, it's a balance thing. I prefer either no straps or 2 straps, but not a single strap on one side only ... and the same goes for sleeves!! Give me either sleeveless or two sleeves on a frock! The other arm is waiting for its sleeve.😳

3) The Bare Midriff Gown - I can't imagine attending a formal indoor gala in a 2-piece dress showing a lot of flesh! The style is more beach-friendly than ballroom-worthy. Another worry is air conditioning! Burrr!☃❄❅❆

         

4) The Deep Dive Cleavage Gown - No, no, never, ever, Jennifer Lopez! It isn't me!! At a fancy shindig, I do not want to see that much of another woman's anatomy and certainly don't want eyes I-do-not-know gazing at mine. Outside of a nudist camp, there's something unequal about it.

5) High Or Cross Front Neck Gown  - The opposite of deep dive cleavage reminds me of a noose! Lose the hangman's knot, lasso, bibb, or whatever that extra textile is for a neckline showcasing the loveliness of a human neck ornamented with a necklace ... yeah, that style is more me.

On THE SAVVY SHOPPER, I mostly write about likes, not dislikes, but fashion should be more fun than serious so I hope you find humor in today's blog. What style of gown is your least favorite? Feel free to share a few of your own out-of-favor gown styles.

Part II: Gown Styles I Like and Will Wear will be published on Wednesday.

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Skinny Bread Pudding For One

Photo: Arabe Datsh - another good recipe for bread pudding.

Remember when 80s model Kate Moss was criticized for saying "Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels?" Well, I happen to agree with her and think it's good to practice the sentiment 90% of the time, then eat whatever we wish 10% of the time ... and I'm not anorexic or bulimic. I eat healthy, balanced meals most of the time. Nobody said anything about starving!

10% of the time perhaps you can enjoy my Creole Bread Pudding With Bourbon Sauce, but 90% of the time, you might consider a low-fat recipe with a fair amount of nutrition: 

Skinny Bread Pudding For One

Ingredients:

1 piece of whole-grain bread

1 egg

1/2 cup skim milk

A pinch of Stevia or a teaspoon of honey, sugar, or your sweetener of choice

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 

a sprinkle of cinnamon

Directions:

1) Cut your bread into cubes.

2) In a mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, milk, sweetener,
vanilla extract, and cinnamon.

3) Toss the bread cubes into the egg and milk mixture and let the bread absorb the liquid.

4) I use either a pad of butter to grease a small baking dish or cooking spray before pouring the mixture into it. (Line the baking pan with aluminum foil and you can avoid washing a pan.)

5) Bake in a preheated 350-degree F oven for 20 - 25 minutes. Remove from the oven.

6) Wait at least 10 minutes before you eat it. You can also sprinkle the top with a bit more sugar or syrup. A sprinkle of more sugar or a little syrup adds only a trace more calories. 

We develop a liking for whatever food we eat over and over including low-fat desserts. I love skim milk and whole grains. The recipe works especially well with low-fat milk because of the whole-grain bread. Delicious! Moreover, when you eat unprocessed food that is low in fat or sugar soon your palate develops a taste for it. 

We can savor rich, high-calorie treats once in a while and likely enjoy them more if we eat them as treats instead of all the time!

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Dresses For A Senior Mother

Are you surprised by my choices? For a moment let's think outside the box. 

Today I'll post the dresses I bought for my elderly mom over the span of 2 1/2 years. The top 4 dresses are my latest purchase for her. She requested sleeves. She likes pink when available. Florals are lovely on her too. In the above image, 3 of the dresses are $12 and the pink gauze dress is $17, so steals at Old Navy this week!

Here are the 6 Features I Look for in Selecting Dresses for my Senior Mother:

1) Easy to slip on and off

2) Easy to machine wash and dry

3) Soft fabrics - I like cotton, linen, rayon, or a blend of these cool textiles for spring and summer. A little spandex is fine. She also has a part wool, part rayon knit dress for winter. 

4) She prefers loose clothes, so I usually order her a size large. Although my mother isn't large in weight or stature, the large size often fits her upper body better, the reason is a mystery to me.

5) Dress lengths that won't trip her  - At Old Navy, I must judge whether to order her dresses in petite or regular. She is petite in pants, yet ON dress styles aren't consistent in sizing. The 4 dresses at the top of the blog are called mini swing dresses, therefore I ordered her the dresses in regular as opposed to petite sizes, with the anticipation they'll fit her slightly above her knees -- not as the minis shown in the photos. If I'm wrong ON offers free returns or exchanges.

6) Cuteness - My mother is a chic dresser. Her style has become more casual as she's gotten physically less flexible and moves with less ease. I do my best to meld pizzazz with easy-to-wear and carefree fashion.

Frequently clothes made expressly for seniors look dowdy and old-fashioned or like bedclothes. Their greater cost is also puzzling. 

There's absolutely no reason for an elderly woman (1) to look frumpy, (2) to adorn ill-fitted clothes (3) to sport clothes resembling pajamas and slippers, or (4) to pay significantly more moola for them than younger women.

Crinkle Gauze Mini Swing Dresses - Also in hot pink, amber, black, and light blue.

Just like my clothes, my mother's dresses can be dressed up or down, and for the price of one dress at a senior apparel shop, at Old Navy, we brought an entire wardrobe of more attractive everyday dresses to wear over all 4 seasons!

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The Met Gala 2024

Zendaya Photo: Theo Wargo/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty. My favorite dress of the evening! The rest of the photos are courtesy of Getty.

Sometimes celebrities wear gowns to media events that stand out over what would be thought appropriate off the red carpet and frequently the dresses are creative, risquè, and attention-grabbing. In other words, achieving their goal! 

As a non-celebrity, I would avoid anything too sheer or revealing, as well as, too outlandish or too much dress to handle, if say, I received a surprise invitation to attend the Met Gala in a fantasy world. At the high-profile fashion bash of the year, I'd still very much wish to look beautiful, as well as, enjoy the ball sashaying around all evening.

The theme of this year's Met Gala was "Garden of Life," so  I'll feature a few of my favorite gowns where IMHO, the lucky attendees managed to incorporate the Met Gala's theme while still looking classy and pretty! Not always easy to do!

My final photo of model Kaia Gerber (child of model Cindy Crawford and girlfriend of actor Austin Butler) shows the gown I'd be most comfortable wearing on or off the red carpet but I've separated it from my Met Gala 2024 picks because although it's a gorgeous dress, how does it fit in with the Garden of Life theme? Putting myself in Kaia's place, she may not have felt comfortable at this time in her life (and her first Met Gala invite) to take risks, instead opting for something safe and classic. Perhaps she's too practical, and perhaps it's wise to select a dress you feel very pretty wearing to enjoy the gala over a dress you're self-conscious and uncomfortable wearing, where you stand out like an ostentatious sore thumb. Certainly Kaia, in her 2024 Met gown, is nothing less than ravishing! 

At the end of the evening it's never ever wrong to be yourself -- just make it your best self when attending a camera-flashing, A-list affair. People (peers, the public) can never unsee!👀😳

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Consider Ballet Flats For Houseshoes

I've never met a human being who doesn't have personal quirks. In the context of today's blog, I'll define a personal quirk as a habit or attitude that's neither right nor wrong but peculiar to the person who has it.

My personal quirk is if I have a day I'll stay home and see no one I still like to shower; get out of my pajamas and houseshoes, and dress for the day. Even during the pandemic when there wasn't a chance of a surprise visit from a neighbor, family member, or friend, every single day I showered, dressed in a t-shirt, leggings, and ballet flats, then sat in my apartment. Day after day! Despite whatever worry, uncertainty, or inactivity going on in the world, I'm in a better frame of mind and more productive if I dress for the day. 

Another personal quirk of mine, I cling to a casual smart style. To me, loungewear and sweats look sloppy and too much like pajamas. I don't own them!

 The shoes I wear in my apartment and perhaps to go down to the mailbox or laundry room are often rejects -- ballet flats I bought for walking on the street, but as it turns out, lack arch support. So the soles of the shoes stay clean. My rejected flats that are not supportive enough for pounding on concrete are fine to wear inside my home. It's a savvy way of repurposing a mistake!

However if unlike me, you don't have mistakes to give a 2nd life to, these Amazon Essentials Ballet Flats fit the bill! Cozy and made good enough at a cheap price to hold up long enough to get your money's worth. Not to mention, they elevate your style over wearing houseshoes all day! You could even step outside on concrete in them if you must ... like on a patio or down the block to fetch something. 

In my quirky opinion, we all need a pair of dapper shoes to wear around the house that are houseshoes, yet not houseshoes! Like Jane Cleaver wearing pearls to vacuum, you'll feel better for it ... plus keep your floors relatively clean!

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