Anonymity Is Priceless

I didn’t watch the John Kennedy and Carolyn Bessette docudrama. Certainly, I was aware of them in the 1990s and walked past their penthouse loft at 20 North Moore Street downtown in Tribeca a few times. When the Southern District of New York summoned me to serve as a grand juror on Centre Street, John was one of many assistant JAs who came into the courtroom to present evidence to us to secure an indictment. During the time of my jury duty, John stood directly in front of me, riding the elevator down to go out to lunch. BTW, I met or saw many celebrities in Manhattan, but I never met or saw John’s mother, sister, wife, or ex-girlfriend, Daryl Hannah, out and about.

This television series on John and Carolyn is making me think about anonymity. To be clear, anonymity is a state in which a person’s identity is unknown. I have heard the stories of the stress Carolyn felt when she lost her anonymity by marrying John Kennedy, Jr., and I can empathise with how trying and traumatizing it must have been for her.

To a degree, I can imagine the discomfort of being watched, judged, and critiqued everywhere she went, often in print. What a terrible state of feeling like you must be dressed impeccably, with every hair in place, even to dash out nearby in the mornings to grab a bagel or drop a letter in a mailbox. Sometimes I’ve thrown on a long coat before taking a shower or putting on makeup to pick up breakfast or deposit mail! But then to have strangers evaluate me or paparazzi jump out to take my picture would be horrifying! It’s been said that Carolyn began to crack under the strain and to feel like a caged animal. Quite understandable.

We should all be careful of what we wish for, as fame can seem ideal, like a best-case scenario. Singer Little Richard is credited as saying, Elvis Presley got what he wanted, but lost what he had.

Anonymity is priceless in New York City. One of my great pleasures is freely walking about, people watching, or going on window-shopping sprees. On an easy-breezy weekend of afternoon exploring often around the Upper East Side, Upper West Side, or in Midtown, sometimes people will smile at me when our eyes meet. At times, I might exchange little snippets of pleasant conversation or even a laugh with fellow New Yorkers who, just like me, are out and about, but we still maintain our anonymity. I also take for granted that such exchanges are genuine since I'm an unknown. I can be open and accessible, giving people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t have ulterior motives for interacting with me unless they prove me wrong, which, despite what outsiders think, usually doesn’t happen in Manhattan. New Yorkers are more benevolent and friendlier than many people imagine.

In absorbing the city and basking in its energy, anonymity is priceless as you walk the streets, enter shops, or stop to observe street entertainment. Some street entertainment is unintentional.😉 In New York City, you can be alone sans the isolation. You’re one of the crowd, with nobody bothering you or asking anything of you. Without a doubt, the freedom to be an observer has increased my wisdom. I’m smarter for having the space to process what I see. Being unencumbered enough to get lost in our thoughts in public is a gift!

How painful and restrictive it must have been for Carolyn Bessette, who was raised as an ordinary girl and married at age 30, to have lost her anonymity and with it the freedoms she enjoyed throughout her 20s. At times, the best things in life are free (like privacy, control over your own life, and peace of mind, to name a few), so be grateful if you still have your anonymity!

*By chance, John’s Aunt Jean Kennedy Smith sat a couple of pews in front of me during a Christmas midnight Mass at St. Ignatius Church on Park Avenue and East 84th Street with her adult children, including her son, William Kennedy Smith, the year he went on trial for rape. At the time, the press speculated whether or not Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis would let her beloved son, John, attend his cousin’s trial in support. A source claimed his family pressured him to attend. John made two appearances during the jury selection. The trial ended with an acquittal.

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Old Navy Fragrances Are Lovely

Old Navy has a collection of hair and body mists that smell amazing, more clean than perfumy. In launching them, the clothing retailer partnered with Sol de Janeiro, one of the fragrance industry’s hottest brands. I love pampering my senior Mom by spraying her hair and arms with them. The fragrances are pleasant without an artificial or overpowering scent, and the mists have corresponding body lotions and body washes.

The 5 scents are: 

1) Gourmand Thrill - described as sweet and delicious with notes of toasted pistachio, creamy coconut, and salted amber. 

2) Fresh Splash - described as crisp and aquatic with notes of juicy pear, salty beachwood, and white wood.

3) Vanilla Crush - described as warm and woody with notes of seductive vanilla, tonko bean, and warm woods.

4) Floral Sweet - described as juicy and bright with notes of crushed raspberries, sensuous amber, and white potchouti.

5) Amber Vibe - described as sensuous and smoky with notes of Italian mandarin, golden oud, and sundried amber.

I discovered the lineup at my local Old Navy. They are available in 150 stores with plans to expand further in 2026. Made without parabens, sulfates, or animal testing, the products cost between $7.99 and $16.99. My local Old Navy sectioned off an area of the store with a curated selection of skin, body, and hair care items, which seem to focus on good, clean ingredients. I picked up a set of moisturizing, hair repair shampoo and conditioner!

These Old Navy fragrances are closer to nature's toiletries of flower oils, salt-kissed air, and sweet spices. If you gravitate towards botanicals over aromas such as Chanel No.5 or Dior Eau de Parfum, I highly recommend them! Try them.

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Ways My Worried Friend Could Save Money

Photo: Forbes

I have a Manhattan friend who is always worried about not having enough money to maintain her present lifestyle. I try to sympathize, and yet, we’re two different types of people in outlook and approach. I may write about value and bargains, but I’m not preoccupied with not having enough money to live on. Justified or not, I have confidence I’ll always manage. I don’t sound like the broken record that my friend does. As it happens, she inherited money 3 times, and IMHO, is better off than the average American who lives from paycheck to paycheck. This makes it tiring listening to her, but I find it’s best to just let her talk. She knocks down any logic I offer, and it doesn’t stop her from talking about the subject again and again since her anxiety is real.

A glass-half-empty attitude is draining. If you really need to tighten your belt, do it! Instead of rehashing your fears, take action! 

Sometimes I fall into the trap of wanting to fix problems when someone else just likes to vent. So here goes.

Photo: HuffPost

Ways I think my friend could save if she had to, but I don’t believe she really has to:

1) She could cut her cable tv subscriptions.

2) She could lower her cell phone with a better plan. Last year, she was paying per minute. This year, she changed her plan to one without unlimited texts ... a huge mistake. It limits her ability to share information and keep in communication with her contacts, which is never a wise decision. Out of habit, people will continue texting her, and, like last year’s per-minute rate, her inflexible plan will significantly raise her bill. The world is not going to stop texting anytime soon.

3) She could stay in her neighborhood to buy food. Taking buses and trains to shop outside of her neighborhood adds up! Also, where she shops tempts her to buy more prepared food (cheese boards, salads, and desserts), which she wouldn’t buy if she shopped locally. Furthermore, she could use her transportation costs to buy some gourmet food in her own neighborhood, and still come out ahead. Again, we take different approaches. I like to simplify repetitive tasks, saving time, whereas my friend may love leaving her neighborhood to spend half the day food shopping. In the suburbs, the question becomes whether driving to multiple stores (it takes gas) saves you any money.

Photo: Dreamtime

4) She spends a lot of money on airfare for family events, which may be unavoidable since she wants to see and maintain relationships with her family. Her family's short notice often requires her to book expensive airfares. If she can afford it, fine. If not, she’s got to tell them she can’t attend every function.

5) She spends too much on her hair to the tune of $200 - $450 per salon visit, which she realizes. Her remedy is to teach me how to color her hair. Aye yi yi! I’ll try.😳

6) The more self-sufficient we can be, the better. We don’t have to pay for services once we can do certain tasks for ourselves. We may get a sense of accomplishment, also.

In summary: (1) Be realistic about what we can and cannot afford. (2) Trade worry for a positive frame of mind. (3) Take action when needed! (4) Embrace independence and simplicity in life to worry less about finances ... and hopefully enjoy more leisure time!

Friends make their own budgeting decisions. We may not know all the details, or they may simply be vendors, so only give advice if asked. Write blogs instead.🤭

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T.J. Maxx Is the Best Retailer For Beauty Products

Korean beauty, Azure, is a top-notch retinol cream. 

T.J. Maxx’s beauty department rocks! It’s buyers find top-notch makeup, skincare and hair care from all over the world. In its aisles, the Korean, Japanese, French, Italian, German, Australian, organic, niche and luxury markets are well represented with beauty products for less than their full retail prices.

Because of the redutions T.J. Maxx must be discreet about the brand names that end up on its shelves. You cannot find brand names online via T.J Maxx’s search box. But I think it’s a great opportunity for brands to pick up new customers who are  first enticed to try them for less.

The quality, quantity and cost of a variety of personal care products are unbeatable. I haven’t bought cosmetics, skincare, or hair products at major department stores in years because I haven’t had to with such a wide array of awesome international beauty and luxury brands at T.J. Maxx. It's fun browsing the myriad of offerings and discovering new beauty products you wouldn’t otherwise try or even know about.   

At bargain prices customers can afford to up their beauty routines, as well as, take a few risks trying new products along with tried-and-true essentials. Think of it as an education without breaking the bank! You never know what stellar beauty surprises you’ll see on a trip to the retailer.  I’ll add links below of some of the T. J. Maxx beauty finds I highly recommend!

As a kit, $16 bucks for both, full-sizes

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Savvy Shoppers Know That Size Matters

It takes a surprising amount of commodities to maintain ourselves! Doesn’t it?! Even a minimalist has to agree. From household germicides to skincare to haircare to personal care, we certainly need to buy a slew of solutions, soaps, lotions, and potions to clean, groom, and perfume our homes and physiques until the day we die!😳 Today and everyday, I mean, stop and what’s next? Germs? Bad smells? Dishevelment? Surely people in their right minds would never just let themselves go!

A reason I love T.J Maxx is the many botanical and organic finds including liquid soaps, moisturizing lotions, shampoos and hair conditioners that are also sold in huge 1 liter or 33 oz sizes for less. My practice is to buy one, plus one to keep on deck for when the first bottle turns into an empty.

I do the exact same thing when buying household cleaners like gallon sizes of distilled white vinegar, a 4 lb box of baking soda, Pinalen (pine oil), ammonia, and bleach from Walmart, Target, Key Food, or C-Town. (I’ve decided not to replace the ammonia because the others do the same jobs. I hardly reach for it anymore. Before switching to white vinegar to clean my floors and counters, I used ammonia to keep from ruining colored rugs with splatters while cleaning.)

Neither overbuying nor underbuying saves you money. Learn which products keep and which lose potency with the passage of time. Then the trick is to figure out what you need and will continue using. We might make a few mistakes before we figure it out, but eventually we do figure it out. 

After we figure it out, buying staples in big ole sizes not only saves time and money, but simplifies our lives. You make fewer trips to the store to restock and instead can do other tasks or pleasures.

Buying huge sizes of non-perishable household and personal care products is always the Savvy Shopper way to go. It’s well worth creating space for them!

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e.l.f. Sun Boss Lip Gloss with Sunscreen

The long name on the product leaves nothing to the imagination: e.l.f. Boss Gloss Broad Spectrum SPF 25 Sunscreen. It is pigmented lip gloss with high SPF sun protection. 

The main reason I'm featuring the gloss is because it's not sticky. The strains of your hair won't stick to your lips every time you turn your head, which is so annoying. We've all been there. The Burt's Bee's lip gloss I bought a few year's ago was so sticky I never bought it again.

E.l.f.'s color (a choice of 5) is buildable with a high shine finish. Zinc oxide, vitamin E, and hyaluronic acid are the key ingredients. It has a coconut scent, which is fine. People like makeup with a pleasant smell, right? All of e.l.f.'s cosmetics are Fair Trade Certified. They are free from the usual harmful suspects and are vegan and cruelty free.

At $7, it lasts a good long while and is sold at drugstores, Target and Walmart, so you have a great chance of catching a 2 for 1 promotion, or another type of sale. If I like a product, I will buy one, plus a spare to have one on deck.

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Playful Shoes Or Assessories

Ballet flat photos: Vivaia

My coats, jackets, shoes, and handbags tend to be black, a neutral shade that looks classic, dressy (when needed), and goes with all other colors. Living in Manhattan, where space is limited, I have to mix and match everything I own, and fit them into my generous (yet only 2) wardrobe closets at the end of the day. I highly recommend finding your neutral color for these 4 articles to make dressing and storage easy.

But! When spring arrives, it's time to let our hair down and add something fun and playful to our wardrobes, isn't it? In the past, I bought ballet flats in leopard or polka dots. Or when replacing my sneakers stepped out of my practical neutral color zone by selecting bright pink or orange!

Why is it a worthy purchase? Wearing a playful color or pattern can put a pep in your walk by lifting your mood. I get loads of compliments on my fun shoes from friends, coworkers, and strangers alike! In a fanciful color or pattern, people can sense I am approachable.

Here is a multi-colored pair of sandals I tried hard to buy. Unfortunately, when I needed new sandals, none were left in my size, so I missed out!

If you're replacing your walking shoes, sneakers, or sandals this spring or summer, consider getting a little wild and crazy. Stepping outside of your usual (and sensible) neutral palette in this most casual of seasons makes you feel happy!🌞🌴🩴

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12 Stain Removers For Clothing

Sometimes life is messy, but we can't let stains ruin our favorite blouses, t-shirts, dresses, or trousers. Your 1st line of defense is to run to a sink before the stain dries and then sets. I like to use a drop of dish soap, water, and a brush, sometimes an extra toothbrush, to gently scrub a stain out. I keep dish soap with Oxi-Clean as one of its ingredients in my bathroom for this purpose.

Thread Up recommends using the following aids to best treat certain stains:

1) Soak a red wine stain in white wine, cover with baking soda, let sit, and rinse.

2) Flush the back of a chocolate stain with cold water, dab with dish soap, and soak.

3) Soak grass stains in white vinegar, then clean with dish soap and that trusty small brush.

4) For foundation stains, apply shaving cream and carefully work it in with a washcloth.

5) To remove lipstick, saturate the stain with hair spray and dab to remove.

6) Gently blot a deodorant stain away with a dryer sheet or the protective foam used on dry cleaning hangers. (Btw: I've switched to a stainless deodorant stick that also works to keep me dry. This one.)

Several more stains I can think of include:

7) For blood stains, rinse in cold water, then soak in detergent and cold water. For stubborn stains, use peroxide or a paste of baking soda and white vinegar. Sprinkling meat tenderizer on the stain sometimes removes it.

8) Tomato sauce, ketchup, vegetable, or fruit stains are tough stains to remove once they dry and set. Act quickly and use cold water, dish soap, and possibly vinegar or lemon juice to help lift out the stain. Sparkling water can help too.

Photo: Pexels

9) For coffee stains, apply a paste of dish soap, white vinegar, and water. Rinse with cold water.

10) Tackle grease stains with dish soap, let it set, and rinse with hot water. Toss in a washing machine quickly if possible. You can also try a solution of baking soda and white vinegar if all else fails.

11) Rubbing alcohol or solutions containing alcohol, such as hand sanitizer or hair spray, will break down ink stains. Spray and blot.

12) A spatter of toothpaste is maddeningly difficult to remove without tossing the garment into a washing machine. Even if you clean the spot immediately with dish soap and water, it leaves a faint white residue. The only thing I know to do is to repeat the process to get as much of the residue out as possible. 

I don't wear dresses until I've brushed my teeth, but in the summer I usually have my t-shirt on already. What do you do to get out a teethpaste stain? What about grease or tomato sauce stains?

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Commence By Brooke Shields

Commence, the brand developed by actress and Princeton graduate Brooke Shields, is top-notch haircare. The products target hair concerns for women over 40. The 3 most popular products in the line -- a 2-in-1 instant shampoo, a 3-in-1 leave-in conditioner, and a root serum -- are formulated to promote healthier, thicker, and more voluminous hair.

Let's take a closer look at each one:

The 2-in-1 Instant Shampoo - Cleans and balances dry hair, adds volume and leaves the hair more squeaky clean, lifted, and full. Cost: $21 for .75oz/21 g.

The 3-in-1 Leave-in Conditioner - Hydrates, tames frizz, adds shine, and contains ingredients like alfalfa extract and quinoa peptics to protect hair from the heat of blow dryers, straighteners, and curling irons. It is a lightweight formula that supports hair growth and thickens hair strands. Cost: 26 for 5  Fl oz/150 ml

The Root Serum - Is designed to nourish and support the scalp microbiome. It calms, hydrates, and strengthens hair from its roots to its ends. The result is softer, smoother, and stronger hair. Cost: $30 4 fl oz/ 120 ml.

While testers are pleased with how the products improve the texture of their hair, the products are costly! You could probably splurge to try them, but you must decide how much you can afford to continue using them. Ask what sum you are comfortable spending on your hair over the course of a year. The Commence haircare line adds up to a pretty penny!

I won't lie, I'll spend more on skin products than hair products. Over time, I've found budget-friendly drugstore brands to match expensive luxury brands, and T.J. Maxx stocks amazing shampoos and conditioners containing botanicals. Enter T.J. Maxx in the blog's search box to read about some of those.

On Commence's website, look for coupon codes and the kits to lower costs. If using the whole line isn't in your budget, I'd zero in on the hair serum. The brand really delivers!

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AOHI 240W Modular-Extension Fast Cable Set

In life, we all have things that annoy us. As an adult, I try to grin and bear bigger things as I work towards solutions, but the little hassles of life can drive me crazy! Today I'll share one: Apple devices (the MacBook Pro, iPad, and iPhone) have 3 separate-sized cables, so one cable never fits to charge a 2nd type of device. Your MacBook Pro's cable can't charge your iPhone or iPad. 

Having these different-sized cords gets annoying!! 

Sometimes you can create a neat workstation for all your separate cables to charge your devices, and at other times while in the middle of a job, you have to get up and move your lazy ass across a room to charge your will-die-soon device. Annoying, right?!

I have no doubt that in the near or distant future, a tech genius will develop a simple universal cable and charger to fit and charge all our unique devices. I've googled around the internet to see if I missed its invention. I haven't. However, I came across an extension fast cable set that simplifies charging our multiple devices with fewer accessories using adopter cables and 3-in-1 multi-ports. Rather close! It's more convenient and compact making it appealing to buy. I will hold off since it benefits me to get off my duff and walk across a room. It's not like physical limitations stop me from moving, it just feels like a nuisance.:)

This super cool modular-extension fast cable set comes with (at $129) or without (at $89) a MacBook charger. For comparison, here it is on Amazon. Depending on the sellers at the time you shop, you can sometimes save a few bucks on Amazon. Always worth a look!

Technology and skin care are two areas worth keeping up-to-date with so we're not lost when it's time to make a purchase, as well as, to know about innovations and progress. We wait for some things and buy others. Decisions and compromises are based on what we know and need at the time of temptation while wisely keeping the Big Picture (i.e., not going broke) in mind.

😐😐😐😐😐

Additional irritants I'd like resolved by re-designs are: (1) Bathtub/shower stalls -- Enlarge the space to hold family-sized bottles of shampoo, hair conditioner, and body wash, etc.; and (2) Refrigerators - Rethink the layout of space to make the width wider and the depth shallower. Nobody likes digging in the back to find the food they remember putting in there. Also, tall bottles of condiments and an opened bottle of wine should fit inside those refrigerator doors! Sheesh, there's lots of work ahead for geniuses to improve our gizmos.

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Sterilite Drawer Carts Make Organizing A Breeze

In a small New York City apartment, organization is the key to maximizing space and keeping it free from clutter and chaos. Everything I own has a place, its own home so I can find and use it. I don't have spare bedrooms or a garage for storage and yet I need the same amount of things to cook, clean, and entertain friends as the lucky people who live in large apartments or houses.

Still, we shouldn't overspend on organizers! It's much better to purge than to buy pricey organizers. That said, every necessity should have a designated place. I love ♥Sterilite Drawer Carts♥(and plastic clear shoe boxes for small items). Not only are they inexpensive but they're relatively strong, a somewhat flexible plastic, durable, and well-designed for the task of keeping things compartmentalized and grouped together.

Sterilite Drawer Carts come in a few sizes to fit larger or smaller spaces. The medium cart that measures 14 1/2" (D) x 12 5/8" (W)  x 24" (H) fits best in my small apartment. I bought 2 of this size and they sit perfectly side by side on the floor of one of my closets to give me 6 good-sized easy-to-open and close plastic drawers that I can see-through to know what I stow inside. I like to put small hair tools such as a curling iron, hair straightener, and crimper inside one drawer, and personal care or household items such as extra tissue boxes and lightbulbs or even gifts I aim to give to friends in separate drawers. If these objects didn't have a drawer of their own (i.e., a home) they'd be piled up inside my closet and I'd have to remove everything to find what I need. What a waste of time!

The drawer carts are also perfect for seniors who have trouble walking for keeping their essentials such as tissues, napkins, or moisturizers next to their chairs. Mothers of infants have inexpensive storage to neatly keep diapers and baby wipes. They provide plenty of storage at a low cost.

Four wheels make moving the cart effortless to vacuum. 

The plastic cart is also suitable in a bathroom, office, or craft room. The carts come in different colors and opaque textures but I like to see-through the drawers identifying their contents before opening them.

A Sterilite Drawer Cart hack for customers who need to use vertical instead of horizontal space: You can remove the top panel of one cart to affix a 2nd cart (snapping them together) and thus make one secure tall 6-drawer cart! Oh, genius. Perhaps I love these storage drawer carts, inanimate objects that they are, a little too much.♥ You'd think I was writing about fine jewelry! :)

Walmart offers the lowest prices on Sterilite Drawer Carts, but do check Amazon and hardware stores!

Update; In my research, I've discovered another company to buy storage containers at low prices ($10 for the medium drawer cart!!) -- so I've written a part 2 to this blog. Check back on Monday for it to post.

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Shampoo, Conditioner And Soap Bars

Kitsch

There are many good reasons to buy bar soaps, shampoos, and conditioners. IMHO they make excellent pampering and practical gifts! Hint, hint!🎄

Bypassing liquid soaps, shampoos, and conditioners sold in plastic bottles is beneficial, i.e., great for the environment. Less plastic bottles filling up landfills.

I have this shampoo bar.

Bars are concentrated. Consumers skip paying for the water in liquid soap, shampoo, and condition. One bar of product often lasts 2 - 3 times longer than its liquid counterparts, saving you money!

In buying the various personal care bars, be sure to read labels to ensure the ingredients are natural or organic (backed up by an organic certification seal and/or a list of clean ingredients) and free of harmful chemicals such as sulfates and parabens that may be detrimental to human health, as well as, end up in our water supply.

Unlike their liquid peers, bars of soap, shampoo, and conditioner are ultra travel-friendly. You'll have less trouble fitting them into your suitcase or taking them on airplanes. You won't have to wait until you land to begin your vacation by looking for personal care products you like and can afford.

To get you started, here are 8 brands known for their good, clean ingredients, transparency, and minimal packaging to peruse:

EcoRoots

🧼 Ethique

🍃 Lush

🧼 EcoRoots

🍃 SheaMoisture

🧼 J.R. Liggett

🍃 Kitsch

🧼 Davines Love

🍃 Aari & Co.

According to the magazine Natural Awakenings which is free at health food stores, the use of bar soaps, shampoos, and conditioners is on the rise. It recommends keeping the bars dry in between uses to prolong the bars and to keep them hygienic. Keep in a soap dish with drainage holes or a reusable tin for storage. The bars are said to be as effective as liquid soap, shampoo, or conditioner. Says the article, "High-quality bars can produce an impressive leather."

Solid soap, shampoo, and condition for trips make thoughful holiday gifts that a giftee might not buy for themselves!

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